tacks are for maps

you knew it was coming...

2010-09-03T10:54:00.001-07:00

I've moved! From now on, I'll be writing at ted-bradley.blogspot.com. Thanks for coming along for the ride.

Back to Blogging

2010-09-01T15:01:00.000-07:00

After a month off of the internet, reading through the most of the Bible (still have to finish Revelation), and generally not writing, I've come back to Tacks Are For Maps to continue putting my thoughts to digital paper.

It is possible that I might switch over to Wordpress, but for now I remain faithful to Blogger. I'm busy writing about what God has taught me over the past two months, I'll post as soon as my writing is worthy of reading.

Where I Am

2010-07-02T10:43:00.003-07:00

June was spent on the coast of Virginia, participating in the 2010 National NCFCA Tournament and lounging on the beaches of southern California.

July will be spent almost completely offline, reading the Bible in a month, reading a ton of other great books, working on my character, and pursuing God's will for my life. If you think of it, pray for me.

I'll tell you all about it when I get back online. Until then, pursue God. Life is short!

Customer #2

2010-05-28T16:07:00.000-07:00

It was about 1:30 and I had spent the last 3 hours helping little old ladies out to their cars or hand counting empty cans of beer because our bottle room machines had all crashed on the same day. The rain was drizzling, I was wet, cold, hungry, and exhausted.

At that moment, I made a vow to myself that I would go out of my way to be extra friendly to the next two customers that I helped to their cars.

Customer #1 was the bazillionth little old lady of the day, but I smiled extra hard and made conversation all the way out to the parking lot. God had a great way of encouraging me, because this little old lady was driving the 2009 Ford Mustang GT Convertible, bright red, of course. She told me all about how great of a car it was, which I already knew, but I listened anyway. I laughed on my way back to the building.

Customer #2 was one of those old men we usually avoid at the grocery store, or anywhere else we meet them for that matter. He was in a wheelchair, obviously physically breaking down, and definitely not that concerned about personal hygiene. I grabbed his two gallons of milk and followed him out to his truck. A Marines sticker was slapped on his bumper, so I decided to make some light conversation, just to say to myself that I'd been extra friendly.

"You were a Marine?"

"Yes I was."

"Did you fight in any wars?"

"Vietnam."

"Was it hell like they say?"

"Yes it was. But it wasn't like World War II, where the soldiers came back as heroes. When I came home, people didn't care about us."

"So you gave your life for your country and they didn't care?"

"Yes."

Then this guy proceeded to tell me about the hell of war. I won't go into the details of what I learned about Veitnam for those five minutes, but it was not pretty. He told me of things that happened that he has never forgotten. And then he paused:

"And when I came home, no one even respected us."

"Well sir, I respect you."

He started to tear up, so I turned to go.

"Thank you, son."

"No problem sir, have a great day."

"You too. You too."

As I think about it now, I almost cry like he almost did. Think about it: He put his life on the line for a country that hated him for what he was doing. He watched his buddies die for that same country and those same people. Then he came home and no one gave him a heroes welcome. Now he goes to the store, gets his gas pumped at the same gas station, and goes to church, maybe. And now he's old and falling apart, and people are still avoiding him.

I'm happy that I got to be the one person that gave him a sliver of the respect he deserves.

Following Jesus

2010-05-20T09:08:00.000-07:00

On most Sundays, I attend two different church services at two different churches. Both are always great, with convicting sermons and God-honoring worship. But this last Sunday, something happened that I really love. The two different sermons tied together in my mind and complemented each other! It was awesome; I'll show you what I mean.

At Mt. Hood HoFCC, Mr. Garvey preached a sermon on Matthew 7:24-27.

Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.

The main idea of Mr. Garvey's sermon was that we need to build a solid foundation. We cannot sit on the fence. We either build our life on Jesus and follow Him, or we build our life on this world and follow our flesh, the world, and the devil.

But Mr. Garvey also pointed out that Jesus clearly says that tests will come into our life. That is why our life has to be built upon the rock! If there were no tests, we would not need such a firm foundation.

I walked away from that sermon realizing I needed to build my life upon Jesus Christ and that building my life on Him means obeying what He tells me to do so that my life will last. As D. Martyn Lloyd Jones said:

Our Lord says that everything we build in this world, everything that we are relying upon... is going to be subjected to tests.

That evening at reGeneration, Taylor Reavely preached a sermon on 1st Peter 2:13-25.

Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor. Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God... For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

Taylor's main point in this sermon was that we should honor and submit to everyone, for the Lord's sake. We don't submit and honor people because we like it, or because we are even necessarily going to be rewarded. We are to honor everyone because that is what Jesus tells us to do.

But Taylor also pointed out that we will suffer unjustly if we really submit to everyone for Jesus' sake. There will be pain and suffering in obedience. However, we are still to follow our Shepherd where He leads us!

These two sermons tied together beautifully I believe, because they both had the same underlying theme. As Christians, we are to follow and obey Jesus no matter what the cost. Jesus guarantees us pain and suffering and tribulation and "unjust suffering" and "storms." Remember, He tells the disciples that if "they (they being the world)hated me, they will hate you."

To follow Jesus means to follow Him no matter what. But if we build our life on the rock, if we obey Him, we will stand the test. We will be able to join with Paul in 2nd Timothy 4:7-8a saying:

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness...

Why Do You Believe The Bible?

2010-05-14T07:35:00.000-07:00

David Knopp gave us 15 minutes to write down our reasons for belief in the Bible. Normally, this wouldn't be challenging, because there are lots of nice, cookie-cutter reasons why we believe in the Bible. I balked at the assignment because I know David to be a certified cookie-cutter mangler.

So I wracked my brain, trying to figure out why I really, truly, deep-down-inside believed the Bible to be the words of God. I'll lay out the reasons I gave so you can get the full appreciation of how David responded.

Minor reasons for why I believe the Bible:
1. Historical Accuracy. The Bible matches up with other historical accounts.
2. Alternatives Are Flawed. The other spiritual holy books fall apart under scrutiny while the Bible has never been proven to have a single flaw.
3. Synthesis of Scripture. The entirety of the Bible tells one continuous, fluid story of God's redemptive plan for His creatures to bring Him glory.

Major reasons for why I believe the Bible:
1. Faith
2. Personal Experience

What was interesting to me as we went around the group reading our answers, was that I found myself laughing inside at all the answers that went like this: "I believe in God therefore I read the Bible because I believe it is the inspired words of God." It just seemed like the ultimate "cookie-cutter" response. I was much more inclined to agree with my buddy Ethan's response that the Bible lined up with all other historical accounts because that seemed to be (and was) the intelligent answer.

But after a long, engaging discussion about proving the Bible to be accurate I realized something very simple, yet profound. In a world that denies the existence of a spiritual realm, the Bible is just like any other book. The only way to explain or understand the significance of the Bible is if you do believe in the spiritual, in the supernatural.

Once we become open to the existence of a spirit side of our world, we then realize that the Bible becomes so much more than a historically accurate collection of Hebrew and Greek writing. Suddenly, the Bible becomes something to be feared and respected, because it is what it claims to be, which is the very out-breathing of an all-powerful, universe-creating God.

And it was then that I knew why I believed the Bible.

Fast Forward

2010-05-11T22:28:00.000-07:00

Ever feel like you would fast forward your life 3 years if you could? I do.

Something to Thank God For

2010-05-07T10:53:00.000-07:00

There are days when I get grumpy, because I wanted the last bowl of Frosted Flakes, or someone got most of the hot water in their shower before I did, or I have to work in the yard when I'd like to be researching debate cases. That's when I find a quite spot, open my Bible, and read this kind of stuff to myself:

"... for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23)"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked..." (Ephesians 2:1-2)

And then I focus on how much I have to be thankful for in my life. Not just my loving family, my nice house, my awesome friends, or my healthy body. I can rejoice in this:

"... but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

It's such a simple, often repeated verse. But the message I get from this verse is powerful: how can I be grumpy about anything when I am loved by the God of the universe?

As a side note, I just found out that my name means "joyful." What a joke. I'm such a moody person. I am defined by what is going on around me, instead of by who I am in Christ. So! Next big thing to work on: being a joyful person.

Good Question

2010-04-27T22:30:00.000-07:00

Switchfoot asks an excellent question that I've been asking myself lately: This is your life, are you who you want to be?

For the longest time I ignored this band because they were popular, and I thought it was cool to not like the popular band. Lately I've been exploring some of their music, but I'm always drawn to their song, "This is Your Life," because that question somehow penetrates to my core and touches on one of the questions I frequently ask myself. Am I who I want to be?

When I look back on this day, April 27th, 2010, will I be happy with the way I lived this day? And if there are some things that I'm not happy with, why am I not changing my ways?

The one thing that always nags me is my lack of trust in the God of the universe. I struggle every day with trusting in God's plan for my life, and instead tend to fret or worry or plan out my own path. I want to let go, it is right to let go, but I don't. I'm not trusting my King with the huge life questions and struggles. And that is not who I want to be.

What I Want To Be Known For, Part 1

2010-04-23T18:19:00.000-07:00

Last night in Worldview class, our professor/friend, David Knopp took us on a journey through scripture, trying to show us how the main goal of Christians should be literal Christ-likeness. At least, that's what I got out of it.

One of the passages we jumped into was the infamous "Love Chapter" in 1st Corinthians, chapter 13. While reading about what love is, I got to thinking about what I want to be known as. Do I want to be known as a man who was irritable or patient? Kind or cruel? Faithless or faithful?

And I've decided to write down and publish What I Want To Be Known For.

A good place to start is in 1st Corinthians, chapter 13, verse 4, where the apostle Paul tells the church in Corinth: Love is patient.

I want to be known as a patient person. Specifically, I want to be known as patient in three areas:

1. My Desires

Every day when I get up, people around here are already lined up for our one shower (right now we're in the middle of a remodel). I want to be the kind of person who puts aside what I want, which is a hot shower RIGHT NOW, and instead is patient, putting the desires of my family above my own. So first, I want to be patient in my desires. I want to be able to delay or even totally put aside what I want, and be able to watch the things I value take second place to the desires and needs and wants of others around me. I want to love others by being patient with my desires.

2. My Time

Right now in my life, I'd like to be anywhere but right where I am. More times than I'd like to admit, I find myself daydreaming about what my life is going to be like when I'm all grown up and big and successful. Instead of always focusing on the future, I need to be patient and realize that I am in this particular season of life for a very specific purpose. In fact, the purpose I'm where I am could be to teach me patience. So, I want to be patient with where I am in life.

3. My Relationships

My 12 year old brother is going through Junior high. It's really, really hard to love him because of the things he says and does in order to get my attention. But rather than irritably push him aside, I need to be patient with my relationships, and invest into my brother and those around me. Even if I don't get an immediate return, I know that to truly show love to those around me, I need to be patient enough to listen and actually care and engage in their lives. So, I want to be patient in my relationships with those around me.

Now, this whole What I Want To Be Known For isn't going to be easy. As I always say, doing the right thing rarely is easy. But it's right. And there comes a time when we must do what is neither easy or popular or politic, but we must do it because our conscience tells us it is right. That was Marin Luther King Jr saying that, not me. And he's right.

As I work on patience this week I will remember that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

These Afternoons

2010-04-23T15:18:00.000-07:00

I'm at my desk, one ear-bud in with Switchfoot blaring, trying to finish Spanish homework so I can move on to debate research. Tom is sitting at the desk beside mine, doing Spanish homework and listening to music on headphones as well.

For whatever reason, I love the feeling in the air right now. That feeling of: there is so much to do, and I'm doing it. Maybe it's the sense of accomplishment, or maybe I want to make my mom happy by actually getting all my "normal" schoolwork done and putting debate second.

Either way, right now at 3:24 on Friday the 23rd, life is going good.

"Talk About Jesus"

2010-04-18T15:13:00.001-07:00

During the Regional debate tournament this past weekend, I would tell my friends who were about to go into a speech round to "talk about Jesus." It wasn't a flippant comment to talk about what the judges wanted to hear, I really meant it. What got me thinking about always talking about Jesus was 1st Corinthians 1:26 through 31. I had read this passage on my way up to Seattle for the tournament and I decided to make those verses my goal:

For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."

My prayer as I drove up to what could be my last official tournament experience, was that I would not even be able to boast in myself or my abilities, much less want too. Instead I wanted to boast in the Lord and in what He is doing through my life. I wanted to talk about Jesus, not about myself.

At the tournament, Lauren and I got 10th place in debate, only 1 slot away from qualifying to the national tournament. I've known other kids who break down crying from disappointment when they get the slot before qualifying, but for me there was an overwhelming peace, knowing that God was working on me.

I did get a couple medals, which I'll most likely slide under my bed, where they will gather dust with all the other trophies. I won't boast in them, I will boast in the Lord and what He did this weekend.

I want to talk about Jesus.

Mathew 6:19 through 21

2010-04-12T21:56:00.000-07:00

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Easter Sunday Photo Shoot

2010-04-10T16:16:00.000-07:00

For Easter Sunday, us guys decided to dress up and coordinate in that dress up. Quin wore white on white, I wore blue on white, and Lucas wore red on white. We got my sister Kate to take the pictures (you rock Kate, even if that one pic was totally out of focus) and then I edited them when I got home. And here you are with the final product:

Friends

2010-04-07T21:56:00.000-07:00

I don't really have a lot to say about it, but one thing is certain. Great friends are certainly a gift from God!

Today I'm thankful for all of my friends.

Easter

2010-03-29T12:27:00.000-07:00

This coming Friday through Sunday we will all celebrate Black Friday, the day Jesus died for our sins on a cross, and Easter, the day that Jesus Christ rose from the dead!

I wonder though, do we focus too little on the empty grave and instead only talk about the bloody cross? I asked this question of two of my friends last night and my buddy Quin was quick to point out that we can't, and shouldn't, focus less on the cross. I agree with him. The vicious, brutal death of Jesus on a cross of wood is one of the most beautiful places and moments in history. It's a greater, more inspirational story than any Hollywood movie, it has more far-reaching implications than any political or social action that any group of human beings has ever committed. On that cross, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, chose to be obedient to His Father, and chose to die in our place. We were so dead that we didn't even know how dead we were, and then Jesus quietly yet firmly took our place on the altar, just because He loved us that much. It brings tears to my eyes the older and the more mature I get.

But what if it had ended there?

What if we were saved from eternal separation but had to walk out our lives in our dead state, just hoping and begging and wishing for the day we die, because life is just an endless cycle of wallowing in our sin?

What if Jesus' corpse had rotted in the grave, nothing more than a tragic God-became-man who selflessly gave up His life to be sure, but was very truly dead?

We'd build shrines around His grave, we'd still write songs and praise Him for taking our place, and we'd probably still cling to the cross because it was there that the punishment we deserved was taken away.

But that's not how the story goes.

Jesus was placed in a grave as a very dead human being and then He rose Himself up, defeating death itself and conquering the hold that evil had on this world. After taking our place and saving us from God's wrath, He then made it possible for us to strive towards the lives we are meant to have. He gave us a way to be more like Himself because He defeated the very things that held us captive.

So yes, I will thank God every day for that bloody cross where Jesus stepped in and took my place. But the place where I will truly be broken with grief and love and awe is inside the empty tomb, where Jesus left behind the sheets that had wrapped His dead body, where the stone was rolled away, and Jesus strode out as a conquering King.

While Staring At Another Trophy

2010-03-22T21:05:00.000-07:00

Last night at about 6 I got home from my trip to Idaho. I qualified to the regional level in everything I competed in. I got 6th in Impromptu, 8th in Duo with Kate, 6th place speaker in Team Policy, and 3rd place Team Policy team with Lauren. It was fun, it was sad, it was exciting, it was exhausting.

And I'm home now.

And I don't really care about any of the trophies. All that I care about is what God taught me, what I learned, and how I grew.

Soon, these trophies will be under my bed, gathering dust. But the things I've learned and the ways I've grown won't ever go away. And for that, I'm truly thankful.

Roadtrip!

2010-03-15T14:40:00.000-07:00

In two days, I'll be going on another roadtrip. As always, the goal is a speech and debate tournament. All that ever changes in my trips are the distance from my house to the church or school I'll be competing at. This time it's 5 hours and 55 minutes according to Mapquest, but I know it'll be longer.

I'm going with great friends, and I'll see a bunch more friends all weekend long, I'll compete in debate and some speech events, and then on Sunday morning, I will come home.

In a couple years, I won't remember whether I won or lost at the Inland Northwest Qualifier, but what I will remember is how I acted with my friends, what I thought about and focused on, and how I handled my losses or my victories.

Lord, give me a focus that's bigger than this week.

'Tis So Sweet

2010-03-14T19:55:00.000-07:00

We sang the old hymn, 'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus, today in church. Even though I've heard the words a thousand times, today they struck me with a new kind of amazement and joy in the simplicity and beauty of trusting in Jesus:

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
And to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

Give Thanks!

2010-03-07T19:48:00.001-08:00

While I sit here working on debate, I got to thinking about what I'm really thankful for. So I just wanted to tell everyone that I'm thankful for God's mercies, which are new every morning, and vanilla bean ice cream!

This Scares Me

2010-03-06T20:13:00.000-08:00

Don't get to heaven and have the Lord of the Universe say:

You were running well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth? [Galatians 5:7]

Something Heavenly by Downhere

2010-03-04T18:09:00.000-08:00

All the angels, see all the angles
With a view from both sides of the line
Well if I had not such a blind spot
Would I have a less difficult time

Surrendering my ways
I would hang on every word You say

I'm so far from what I wanna be
Oh I really am my own worst enemy
Please don't let me get the better of me
Take this earthly thing and make it finally
Something heavenly, I wanna be heavenly

Air is cleaner, grass is always greener
For the crowd of hosts up where they are
If I could visit, I'd just contaminate it
Why so big a place for me in Your heart?

To leave your glory home
Just to make a broken man your own

If I try to soar, I will fall for sure
So let Your grace break through, and lift me up upon it to be with You

I'm so far from what I wanna be
Oh I really am my own worst enemy
Please don't let me get the better of me
Take this earthly thing and make it finally

Cuz I'm so far, stay close to me
I'm so far, stay close to me
Making me something heavenly
Gonna be heavenly

Will my life be worth writing about?

2010-03-01T12:48:00.000-08:00

It's not as self-centered as it sounds. After my Bible reading this morning, I'm really starting to ask myself that question. When I get to my 60's and 70's and 80's, or if I'm dead by then, will what I did on this earth be the kind of stuff that inspires people, even if I'm not famous? Will those who knew me be able to see Jesus in my life?

I'm striving towards the day when the God of the universe will look at my life and say, "Well done, good and faithful servant..."

When Life Isn't So Good

2010-02-24T20:44:00.000-08:00

"Whoever faints in the day of adversity, his strength is small." Proverbs 24:10

I feel like right now is my "day of adversity." In every area of my life all I can see are challenges and uncertainty. Although I'm sorely tempted and even prone to feel sorry for myself, I've realized something very important from this simple verse.

Anybody can succeed when times are good. It doesn't take that much character to persevere when the sun is shining and life's going my way. The same can be said when Jesus talks about it being easy to love our friends. Jesus says, "don't even the tax collectors do that?" The real hardship comes when we're asked to love the ones who persecute us. I think it's the same when we're asked to keep pressing forward in the day of adversity.

So now I've made a choice. I'm going to stop whining when life isn't going my way. I'm going to stop throwing my miniature pity parties and start pressing forward in every situation.

Now, back to debate research... ;)

Now that I'm an Adult

2010-02-06T18:09:00.000-08:00

Since turning 18 I've done quite a bit. I voted on no on measures 66 & 67, created my own bank account, signed up for the draft, and filled out my application for college aid. Still to do: apply for a credit card, finish my job application, get a cell-phone, get a car, etc...

What I'm realizing though is more important than what I'm actually doing. The fact of the matter is that nothing has actually changed in my life, except the level of responsibility. It's like a complicated video game and I just went to the next level.

I'm still the same person really. I still have the potential for so much good but the tendency towards evil and foolishness. I still need God just as much, if not more, and I still need to be wise.

The only things that have changed are the things I'm doing. Which makes me believe more and more that we must be faithful with little if we want to be faithful with much.

Thank goodness for this promise: "and I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." [Philippians 1:6]

Guanajuato

2010-01-14T13:22:00.000-08:00

I'm compiling a list of places to go and exciting or interesting things to do in my life. A visit to the capital city of Guanajuato, Mexico is definitely on the list.

According to an informational site, most of the auto traffic is actually underneath the city in an ancient tunnel system, meaning that foot traffic abounds in the city. Sounds like the perfect place for pictures and adventures.

A Thought

2010-01-07T16:02:00.000-08:00

Life, I think, is more about moments than a 24/7 existence. But in the end, it is how we live in that 24/7 existence that will shape what those moments we remember will be like.

If that makes sense.

Next Year

2010-01-05T13:30:00.000-08:00

A friend got me thinking about something bigger than New Year's resolutions this year. See, I'd always thought that New Year's resolutions were a stupid and childish idea, mainly because nobody ever kept them and then insisted on writing books and motivational material on "why we should try to keep them but we're not going too."

But I realized that a new year is a one of the best reasons to refocus on what I want my life to be marked by. What I want to remember, and what I want to be remembered for.

Last year, life was good, but very hard. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that in every memorable moment of 2009, when I chose to follow God, He blessed me. When I did it my way, He was not with me and I usually suffered the consequences of leaning on my own understanding. I also noticed that so much of last year I spent trying to bring glory to myself, instead of bringing glory to the one who deserves it.

So, despite the squirmy feeling I get in using the cliche, I want to say that this year is going to be different. I think it's time to stop focusing on what I want, and instead look to what God wants for me. To look first to others instead of myself.

My challenge to you is, let 2010 be different for you as well. Choose to run hard after God, to seek His will for your life. Let go of your selfish desires, it only makes you grumpy and bitter in the end.

Next year about this time, you'll probably be at someone else's house celebrating New Year's eve and thinking over 2010 and what a crazy year it was. Let's make the memories ones of seeking God's face, and striving to give glory to God, encouragement to others, and true fulfillment to ourselves.

Running Shoes

2009-10-31T16:36:00.000-07:00

Unlike most guys I know, I've got quite a few pairs of shoes. My shoe bin is crammed with Converse lace-ups, Converse slip-ons, Vans knock-off slip-ons, Dress shoes, Flip-flops, and a grungy pair of work shoes. Anyway, the point is that I am not limited in options when it comes to footwear. Except for running shoes.

For the past 3 months I have longed for a decent pair of running shoes. I didn't need anything fancy, just a comfortable pair that could take me where I wanted to go, at the speed I want to go. The only problem was that I didn't have any extra money to buy a pair of shoes with. So, I thought, I would just have to wait until Christmas or my birthday when I would get the opportunity to suggest to some benevolent relative that the way to truly make me happy was to buy me a pair of running shoes.

The days sped by, and every other day or two I would think of how much I would benefit from getting some running shoes, and how frustrating it was that I didn't' have the money to run to the store and buy some.

About a week ago, I finally hit upon a crazy idea. What if, since all other options have failed, I asked God to give me some shoes for really cheap at the thrift store? I mean, I had already exhausted every other alternative, so why not give that "ask-and-it-will-be-given-to-you" stuff a try? It couldn't hurt, and at least when I didn't get a pair, I could say that it was because God didn't want me to have them, obviously.

So I prayed. It was quick and to the point. My little talk with God went something like this: "God, I really want some running shoes, and I know that you can give me shoes if you really want to. And I promise that if you give me a pair I will tell everyone that it was you who gave me them. Just please give me some shoes. Oh, and could they be pretty cheap too? Thanks. Amen."

The next day my mom went to the thrift store. I told her exactly what to look for, and then had a few thoughts directed heavenward about this being God's big chance to show that he really did care about me.

My mom came home and told me that she had found nothing. Well, that was it. Obviously a new pair of running shoes for me did not figure into God's grander scheme. Oh well. I tried, I gave God a chance, and I guess he just didn't want to give them to me that much. I was a little bit frustrated, but you know, what could I do? Complain to God about the injustice of it all? No, I had enough shoes that was certain, and this was just a really big 'want' not a need.

The next day my mom found a pair of running shoes for free and handed them to me with some words about trusting God's timing.

I have to admit that I laughed at myself quite a bit that day. Think about it. I didn't need those shoes, it wasn't as if I was running barefoot to little villages in Africa spreading the gospel. I hadn't had my other shoes stolen for believing in Jesus or anything big like that. I only wanted a pair of running shoes. And then I made a quick prayer to God about Him getting me a pair of shoes.

I told God I wanted some cheap running shoes and then got mad when He didn't deliver. I kind of wonder if He was chuckling the next day when He gave me a pair for free...

2009-10-09T15:57:00.000-07:00

"...be careful not to get caught up in the subjectivity of language to the point where words become emptied of all truth."

[David Noebel]

Daydreaming

2009-09-13T13:20:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been thinking about what I want in my future. Like what kind of house I will live in, where in the world I will live, what I will do to make a living, what I will enjoy, what I will spend my time doing, who I will be with, etc... The thoughts come more frequently as I near the end of my highschool education, it's probably common for a senior to think about these things, but it is certainly a new feeling for me.

I've decided that I long too much for a perfect world. A big house with a perfectly green lawn and a white-picket fence. The newest of the Lamborghini models parked in my garage. A big income from a prestigious law firm. Respect and power.

While I'm sure that many other people have these same dreams, I wonder if they cling to such dreams with the same fervor that I do. The ironic thing is that I am in no way the type of man who will acquire these things. I'm lazy, I procrastinate, I lie, I'm selfish. There's simply no way I will get anything I want if I keep going down this path.

So it is with a painful laugh that I idealize what my life could look like. That is what I am, always looking ahead to what could be instead of looking at the here and now, and fixing my problems before they blow up in my face.

Alone

2009-09-07T16:27:00.000-07:00

I keep waiting for you to arrive
To wake me up to make me alive
My eyes follow the colors at the dance
My spirit grows tired but still waits for romance

They say you'll be late
That you might stay home
I tell them I'll wait
Even if I wait alone

They danced until the morning came
I stood still always the same
Now the boys begin to take their lovers home
I remain glued to the wall almost unknown

They say you stayed home
I say you're just late
They say you won't come
I tell them I'll wait

Now the sun peaks out over some distant hill
And the white-washed church walls hold me still
A knock at the door laughter calling my name
But it's only my friends so here I remain

They ask if you died
I tell them it's true
They ask if I cried
I tell them for you

Just For Fun

2009-09-07T11:42:00.001-07:00

This blog is not a serious effort or a consistent update of my life. It is simply an outlet for my thoughts and ideas. Please feel free to leave your thoughts on my stuff, I wouldn't be sharing it with you if I didn't want to hear from you.

A note about the name; it is simply a thought I had after looking at the maps I had tacked up on my wall. Nothing deep and profound I'm afraid, but that is often the case with "original" titles.